THE LONDON EXPERIENCE

THE LONDON EXPERIENCE

In this section, you can find my “adventures” in London…A city a didn’t know, that now I love/hate…

And the city I’m now “stuck in”…

London 2017

As said before I had a dream… becoming a big start in AMERICA.

Well, to get in the States you need a lot of things, like a green pass or a sponsor or whatever and I didn’t have none of that, so the best next thing was London.

I worked myself to the ground to collect the funds and boarded a plane in, what now seem forever ago, 2017 and I faced the city on my own.

Unlike many Italians, I didn’t know nobody and I just went to London on vacation a couple of years prior.

When I say it was an adventure is because it was!

I had promised myself not to be a waitress anymore.

I looked around and I started looking at modelling and acting.

Imagine the joy, when I started to work on set as an extra and I was waiting on a call from a modelling agency.

Of course, the agency was a scam, took most of my money for a few pics and never called back. Filming was sporadic therefore, since the funding where running low, I had to go back to what I knew; serving.

I worked 3 jobs at one time for months, to sustain the music dream and keep up with rent and food.

Until I decided to give up the singing.

And actually, I felt like a weight had been lifted. I guess making music had become a burden more than a pleasure.

That year I relocated 3 times because I couldn’t pay the rent.

A colleague had a room available, little more than a shoe box, but it was a good deal and I knew the guys.

After all the struggles, I had found my niche and I was doing good finally.

Until one day, my left arm went weak and painful. If a waitress can’t

lift A plate, imagine the stake boards.

Nor I could polish glasses due to the weak grip and pain at the repetitive movements.

I could be a sever no longer.

Didn’t know much back then, and instead of searching the GP and ask for fit notes or asking for benefit, I thought I had my fill of London and since I wasn’t singing any more, I could fly somewhere where the sun shines.

This was around January 2018 and withing a month I was back in Italy, planning to try out Spain.

BACK AGAIN 2019/2020

Thanks to a friend I came back and found a job as a receptionist since my arm and my ankle still weren’t fixed and I couldn’t go back to serving.

I was doing ok, even got back to play model with my friend and filming as an extra.

I even got to climb to Devon’s cliffs, although I did suffer a lot, what I know now as fatigued I then perceived like an overworked ankle and compensations on the right side.

This was November 2019, right before Covid and I’m in North London.

The reconstructive surgery failed, but I could walk on it.

With limitation.

Like every immigrant, when Covid hit, I was fired and I run back home before the borders closed up and came back once they opened up again.

If I have to be cooped up inside somewhere, I rather do it where I have a garden, a dog and sun, sorry. 😅

Once back, I went back to the Island and the second wave of Covid hit.

I got stuck in the house, and in a unhealthy situation, beside falling very ill.

I’ve lost most of my weight at this point, and as always, I run back to where my support system was, Italy.

Here in London, I wasn’t doing very well, I got ill and stuck in a piss poor situation which I managed to escape.

But the choices was either Italy or London.

At this point, my old injury wasn’t fixed still and my health was poor, so I brain stormed new career options and a friend suggest to look into Counselling.

A new future…

Encouraged by the new project, I came back to London on unsteady legs, emotionally. I was doing better, but I admit I was still recovering.

I got lucky and found this house.

Having a pond in the back sure helped me, like it did in Italy, and while figuring out the student loan, I picked up filming again and modelling.

I was growing comfortable into my looks.

And modelling had a lot to do with that.

The date is June 2021.

All is good, until I get told that, since on Benefit, I couldn’t enrol in full-time study because I had to be able to work full time.

Oh well, I guess we are not going to University then!

I started doing some online or looking for alternatives until the following year.

Having achieved LV2 & 3 online and sure I had found a shortcut, I went to look for the final level which is the 4th.

At this point I had found a job as a zombie impersonator and after a few months I collected another injury on the job.

I hurt my right arm, although they don’t know what specifically got broken, and after a couple of weeks I had the second surgery on the ankle booked.

Good timing is not one of my many skills apparently!😅

So, I loose my job and take time to recover. It took the help of the all house, to help me bathe and cook.

I was lucky.

Anyway, I while I recovered, I found a Level 4 Counselling skill course and enquired, but was informed that I would have to start all over again, because I missed the practice part. So there I am, September 2022, studying counselling and working one to one with a Employment Advisor, to dip my feet back into working and shake off the social anxiety I had picked up.

The College that I was studying in was hiring one to one support.

Thank to my advisor I got the job and now I was working and studying at the same place.

The job was allowing me to learn more about disability and diversity, coping mechanisms for the “kids” and was interlacing well with what I was learning in the course.

The arm never recovered completely and after a long few months I could go back to use it, with limitation and the ankle seem to be doing fine.

Life was looking up.

I loved the course, the job was mostly laid back and I was managing ok.

Is during this time that MS starts to pick up. Looking back now I can see.

1. I was on set, filming something with Catherin Blanchett in it, although see wasn’t on set. It was a pub scene, and I was sitting at a table, back to the camera pretending to engage in conversation. (2021)

The pauses in-between takes were rather long, and at one point I don’t know why I couldn’t keep my eyes open, I feel asleep on set a couple of times.😅

2. I was in class, during my course and all of the sudden I got overwhelmed with tiredness and I couldn’t keep away. I went home then and there. (2022)

3. At work during an exam while supervising a student, sorry multiples, I had the same problem. My eyes would urge me to close them and take a nap. Obviously, not the place.

4. Is my birthday, early into 2023 and I had a house party. As all my parties, dancing is it, and I was giving it my all!

It took me out for a couple of days. I can remember having notices that, for a while now after a night out my legs would hurt like hell and walking was a struggle pain wise.

Soon I would have my first memorable and confirmed relapse before the diagnosis.